Beyond Texting by Debra Fine

Author:Debra Fine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canon Publishers
Published: 2014-03-11T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9

UPLOADING HONESTY:

How to impress others and remain true to yourself

When did you last change your hair, buy a piece of clothing, try out for a team or join a club because you thought it would be your ticket to acceptance?

I know what it’s like to be a teenager; after all, I was one (and I’ve raised a few, too)! I was shy and lacked confidence. I understand that feeling of wanting to pretend you’re someone you’re not just to be accepted and recognized by seemingly more self-assured teens. But creating a persona just to fit in won’t help you become successful in life. Those who learn to be genuine will have more quality friends, a more positive outlook on life and be more successful in building lasting and meaningful relationships. Developing disingenuous interaction skills during these formative years will only hinder you down the road, when you go on a job interview or a date.

If you want to win someone’s attention, it’s important just to be yourself. Lying, embellishing stories and bragging might get you a temporary buddy, but those tactics won’t lead to a long-time, permanent pal. Acting phony might gain you superficial popularity, but it won’t yield the kind of satisfying relationships you want. Your teenage years are only a sliver of your existence and by no means define your life. So don’t let yourself get sucked into the idea that one misstep will send you off the path of popularity. This is the time to learn how to interact honestly with peers so people learn to trust you are who you say you are and not a phony.

Here are four questions to consider whenever you’re initiating any interaction:

1. Are you worrying about impressing the other person? If so, consider why this is so important to you. Is it really worth the work to get recognized by this individual?

2. How will this interaction impact your reputation in the long run? Be forward-thinking and recognize that some actions you take will follow you.

3. Are you upholding the integrity of your image while projecting the kind of person you want to be? Are you being you? It’s OK to want to change and adapt, but if this isn’t who you are at your core you’ll never succeed at leaving the right impression, one that paves the way for an authentic relationship.

4. Do you need to lie or brag to get attention from this person? If so, resist at all costs. At best, you’ll compromise your personal identity. At worst, you’ll get caught and be remembered as the fakest one in school.

Let’s look at this issue further by considering ninth-grader Valeria. She does well academically and is in Student Council, but she is quiet and doesn’t get a lot of attention. She would like to have more friends. Her classmate, Kara, is a well-known cheerleader and also a Student Council member. Valeria would like to get to know Kara better and spend more time with her social circle. In this

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